Yesterday, after 5 years of monthly payments, I paid off my business loan. I took out that loan when I started mostly because I was completely clueless but determined to get @quotifulapp into the world. My dad had to co-sign it for me since I didn’t have the credit to get the amount I was looking for, I borrowed too much money, and burned through it way too quickly.
But I had opened the door, I was in it now. So I moved out of my apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan back to my Dad’s house in my small hometown for 5 (painful) months then made my way back to NYC by moving to Brooklyn where rent was half of what I was paying in Manhattan. The room was also half the size, and I now had double the roommates.
At the time I thought Quotiful was my path to success. I thought it was my ticket to entrepreneurial freedom and my initiation into the budding tech world. I also thought it would happen overnight, or at least in the next year or so. What I didn’t realize, is it wasn’t any of those things - because what I needed was healing.
I started the app because I needed an outlet for my quotes and emotions when I couldn’t express them otherwise. Just like I had intentionally opened the door to business creation, I had unintentionally opened the door for more self discovery and healing than I ever could of imagined. The app has evolved as I’ve evolved, in my own wellness journey and in the reflections of other’s wellness journeys.
I used to be embarrassed to tell people how long I’ve worked on Quotiful because I thought the years showed my inability to succeed. I thought it made me a failure. Now, at year 5, I see it as perseverance and the biggest adventure I’ve ever taken. The journey back to myself. If the next 5 years look anything like the last, I’m along for the ride.
Life by Design was born out of a need for my own self-healing after decades of unresolved illness. It wasn’t until finding the courage to look within that I discovered it was my own belief system holding me back from experiencing a truly thriving life. We all have access to that thriving life. We just need to rediscover our power and ignite the healing-self. Only then can we unapologetically live a life by our own design.