Awhile back, I talked about my three core values; integrity, growth, and freedom. I spoke about these values being the foundation for the relationships in my life (both current and future) as well as the elements that I want to embody.
Interestingly enough, I got a lot of messages about the first value, integrity, and what it means to me. Growth and freedom are two principles I talk about a lot, but integrity can fly a bit more under the radar. Though, it’s an equally important pillar in the triangle and I truly believe without it, we can’t have the others.
Integrity comes from the Latin word meaning whole or complete. To integrate. Braid all of the pieces together to create a force stronger than anything that stands alone. We’re always striving for wholeness in our lives, whether we’re fully aware of it or not. The first step on that journey, and the precursor to each successive step, starts with becoming (often painfully) honest with yourself.
I have an impressive track record filled with years of dishonesty with myself. I overly promised myself I’d eat healthier, take care of my physical health, spend my money wiser, show up for my family and friends more, put in extended hours on my business, find more space for creativity…the list goes on. Often, those promises were so filled with enthusiasm and hope I expected no less than to deliver. But I continued to underdeliver in exchange for short-term gains like partying, impulsive shopping, spontaneous trips around the country, procrastination, cancelled plans, excuses and the like. I broke those promises, and my heart, over and over again.
That continual disappointment depleted any trust in myself. One of our greatest sources of power, and one that I routinely pulled the plug on. When trust is lost, so is our sense of self.
But trust with ourselves is earned the same way it is with everyone else in this world, through slow incremental steps. Showing up, in small ways, and building. Doing what you say you’ll do. Working on that relationship until you’ve established such a strong foundation with yourself that it can’t help but spill out into other relationships in your life.
That’s true integrity.
Life by Design was born out of a need for my own self-healing after decades of unresolved illness. It wasn’t until finding the courage to look within that I discovered it was my own belief system holding me back from experiencing a truly thriving life. We all have access to that thriving life. We just need to rediscover our power and ignite the healing-self. Only then can we unapologetically live a life by our own design.