When I committed to writing a year ago I promised myself I would always write about what was true for me at the moment. So, here we are.
Since the move, I stepped back into dating. I wrote about being much more intentional than my NYC dating days and spending my time and energy wisely, but honestly, I lost sight of my true north. My core values.
About this time last year, when I was in the midst of trying to make a decision on fully committing to my on/off ex-boyfriend of 16 years (yes, you read that right). I had to sit down and get really clear on who I was and where I was going. I realized, the tether that ties those two worlds will always be my personal values.
I started out by writing out things I value in a lifestyle like; a holistic health focus including nutrition, movement, commitment to mindfulness/higher consciousness, dedication to emotional fluency, spiritual connection, high appreciation for family, burning desire to serve others and make an impact in the world, an appreciation for both urban life and nature, and a passion for new adventures and travel.
Then I moved to characteristics I hold highly like honesty, integrity, independence, sense of humor, playfulness, continual growth and improvement, and an insatiable thirst for life. Someone who inspires me to be better. Someone who I feel expansive with. Someone who is my compliment, not my completion.
Maybe that’s a tall order, but it’s my truth. I took a look at the list and held it up to the light of that relationship. Though we had a powerful connection rich with history and an intoxicating chemistry - the values simply didn’t align. Our paths had diverged.
After doing the hard, painful but right thing, I naively thought the universe would hand me what I was looking for. But it didn’t. It tested me. It presented me a few someones who were so close to aligning but just didn’t quite fit. I almost bit, almost.
Loneliness is a tough companion.
After revisiting that list last night, I see clearly what it all boils down to. Three core values; growth, integrity, and freedom. That’s what I want to feel and embody, and that’s what I want reflected back to me. I won’t settle for less.
Life by Design was born out of a need for my own self-healing after decades of unresolved illness. It wasn’t until finding the courage to look within that I discovered it was my own belief system holding me back from experiencing a truly thriving life. We all have access to that thriving life. We just need to rediscover our power and ignite the healing-self. Only then can we unapologetically live a life by our own design.