“How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved.” - Sigmund Freud
I’m usually more of Carl Jung fan than Sigmund Freud but, to me, this quote is the essence of the human spirit.
This past week I went back to New York. A city I spent 7 years of my life in and one that many of my family and friends are still in or near. Every time I’m there, I always feel at home. Not because New York will always be home, but because home is a feeling. One that lives in the amount of love we feel.
I admit, I spent many years of that New York life searching for the feeling of coming home. Looking for love. But my view of love was a limited one. It was watered down and distilled to love in the traditional form of romance. Unknowingly, and tragically, I was overlooking all of the love I was already drenched in. That entire city and the people in it were just pouring love on me, waiting for me to wake-up and realize, but I was focused on the void.
Focusing on the void just gives the void more power. You also start to stray further and further from home. So far that you begin telling yourself in order to come home, in order to be loved, you have to fix yourself. You have to heal (big one for me), make more money, become more successful, more attractive, more intelligent, tell better jokes, go on bigger adventures; the list grows as the void grows.
But we have to come home to the idea that we are already home. We always were. Arriving there first allows the rest to fall into place. That void loses its power and we start to swell with all of the love in and around us instead.
Because love comes in many forms. There’s love between families (however you define that family), the love of a deep friendship, passionate love, playful love, affectionate love, self love (thanks Instagram), love for humanity, and love for this crazy beautiful thing called life - just to name a few.
When you’re moving through life filled up with all of those loves, bursting at the seams, you’re more than just bold, you’re magnetic.
Life by Design was born out of a need for my own self-healing after decades of unresolved illness. It wasn’t until finding the courage to look within that I discovered it was my own belief system holding me back from experiencing a truly thriving life. We all have access to that thriving life. We just need to rediscover our power and ignite the healing-self. Only then can we unapologetically live a life by our own design.