"There's a season for settledness and season for wildness. This is neither. This season is about becoming."
On New Years, I spoke a little about my year in review and mentioned I was headed to a new city. Last year, around this time, I wrote a long blog post about the reasons for my move to LA (as close to the truth as I could get it). This time around, I wanted to write a blog post but after I sat down to do it I couldn't really find the words. It didn't feel as necessary and I didn't feel the need to explain it to myself or others like I did last time. It just felt right.
At first, it felt a little like defeat. I had set my sights on staying in LA at least 2 years after my intention of settling a bit and sending some roots down. Something I thought I needed to come closer to center with on the spectrum of wild vs settled. Mostly because I’ve hung out on the opposite end of that spectrum for as long as I can remember. But I wasn’t exactly sure what was in the middle of that range until I had the courage to step out of the extremes and get comfortable in the uncomfortable.
LA gave me more roots than I had hoped for, it gave me footing in that in-between, able to fully stand in a continued state of becoming. Once I recognized that, I realized my time here had come to an end. What took me 7 years of searching in NYC took 16 months in Los Angeles. I had already outgrown the container.
Like my last post stated though, I’m not tossing out the soil and the foundation I’ve built, I’m integrating. There’s a richness to loving and knowing people in more than one place. NYC will always have a piece of my heart (that’s very clear every time I set foot back in the city). LA will always have a piece of my soul (because it’s LA - people come here for soul searching and legalized marijuana). And now San Francisco will have the next best version of me. The one that’s always becoming.
I think it’s the perfect trifecta - like body, mind, and soul - each city balancing each other out beautifully. Plus, SF is a pretty intellectual city, and now that I’ve got the body and the soul talking to each other I think it’s time to truly invite the mind back in. It’s time to design.
Life by Design was born out of a need for my own self-healing after decades of unresolved illness. It wasn’t until finding the courage to look within that I discovered it was my own belief system holding me back from experiencing a truly thriving life. We all have access to that thriving life. We just need to rediscover our power and ignite the healing-self. Only then can we unapologetically live a life by our own design.