“The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself…That is the moment, you might be starting to get it right.” - Neil Gaiman
I spent the day yesterday really thinking and rethinking about what Life by Design means to me. I knew my focus had changed over the last year but I wasn’t exactly sure how much it had evolved until I really took the time to sit down, revisit the past, and reframe for the future.
I started by rereading posts from 6 months to a year ago and rewatching stories in my archive from that time.
The interesting part about externalizing your inner thoughts in the form of the written word and simultaneously documenting your outer experience for the world to see is you get to hold and keep a pretty complete picture of yourself. That is, the self you were, then.
But everyone else also gets to see it, hold it, keep it. And to be honest, as I read several of those posts and watched some of those stories, I cringed a little. I had a hard time digesting that I once thought that way or wrote like that. It’s all out there though, just floating around in digital space.
I think that’s also what scares the shit out of me about writing a book. Not only does it take flight into uncharted digital airspace, but most frighteningly, walks solid ground for the rest of eternity. That former version of you, out there with a life of its own.
As I sat there last night, pen in hand, hovering over this realization when I thought all I had shown up to do was take an inventory of the past and plan for the future, I had another moment of consciousness.
The only thing we can ever do is dedicate to the path and continue to create. Over and over again. Especially, if we don’t like what we’ve created. Just create again.
Revisit, reread, rewatch, relisten - do whatever you need to do - but most importantly, renew.
I started by renewing my stories highlights to better represent what Life by Design stands for today. From there, I plan on making more space for discovering the self I am today, then setting it free to roam the earth.
Life by Design was born out of a need for my own self-healing after decades of unresolved illness. It wasn’t until finding the courage to look within that I discovered it was my own belief system holding me back from experiencing a truly thriving life. We all have access to that thriving life. We just need to rediscover our power and ignite the healing-self. Only then can we unapologetically live a life by our own design.